Maybe I Deserve
by de'ja2
Summary: Brock and Reba Story.
1. Chapter 1

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 1

A/N: I've had this idea for sometime now and I can't wait any longer so I'm going to post it now.

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Reba Hart lied awake in bed, silent tears streaming down her face. The attempts to stifle her cry from her husband became increasingly hard. Slowly and carefully she climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind her. She sat on the toilet and held her head in her hands, releasing a new array of tears.

Brock Hart sat straight up and stared at the bathroom door, unable to sleep because his heart ached for the incredible pain he felt for his wife. He wanted so badly to hold and kiss her and to take away her sorrow. He walked to the door leaned against it, tucking at his chest, praying that God calm his wife's pain and let sleep come peacefully through the night. When he heard Reba sound like she was on her way out of the bathroom, he rushed back into bed and pretended to be asleep.

Reba wiped the tears from her eyes, but the stains remained in place. She gracefully made her way back into bed, turning her back towards him. Brock turned toward where she lay in bed and cuddled up to her, embracing her in his arms. She wanted to pull away from his grip, but the strength in his arms proved too much for her. These arms that held her, used to be a symbol of love, loyalty and devotion but now they were full of lies and uncertainty. She felt as if a stranger was lying next to her. A stranger who just happened to be her husband of twenty years.

After twenty years of love, friendship, and kids, Brock and Reba Hart found themselves in a hell of a spiral. After a year of fighting and separations, Brock admitted to Reba that he had cheated on her with Barbra Jean Booker, his dental hygienist. But that wasn't the worst part, Barbra Jean found herself pregnant with Brock's child. When he told Reba, she felt like apart of her heart had been ripped out. For weeks, Reba wouldn't talk or even look at him. Brock begged her to take him back and to give them another chance. Reba had missed him so much that she accepted his apology and took him back. But getting their lives back together proved harder than expected.

Reba was happy that he was back home but Brock couldn't neglect Barbra Jean and the child they would soon have together, so Reba felt sorely out of place when she came by or when Brock would escort her to the doctor appointments. She loved him, of course, but she questioned whether she could ever trust him again and if you don't have trust what do you have? She started to think that them getting back together was a big mistake. She didn't see him the same way. Instead when she looked into his eyes she saw hurt, pain, and sorrow. But Reba was so afraid of being out on her own that she allowed him into her life, despite how she really felt. As a result she became distant and found herself pulling back instead of embracing the situation and loving him like she always had.

Brock knew Reba was having a hard time accepting every thing but he loved her and wanted to be with her despite every thing. He walked on pins and needles when he was around her, for fear that one more slip up would cost him every thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 2

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"Hey Honey, how about you go with Barbra Jean and I to the doctors appointment?" Brock Hart asked, wanting to include Reba in every thing.

"Umm that's okay. I wouldn't feel comfortable and I don't belong there." Reba said.

"Reba, I want you to be apart of this child's life just as much as I am. Yes, Barbra Jean is the mother but you're my wife and I want you to take part in raising this child."

Reba was flattered by Brock's offer to include her but, she still felt uncomfortable about every thing. She wasn't sure how she would feel about this child once it got here, so she wanted to keep her distance but the baby would be apart of her life whether she liked it or not. Knowing this she agreed to accompany Brock and Barbra Jean.

Barbra Jean arrived at the house ready to go to the appointment with Brock. As they were leaving he signaled for Reba to come along, leaving Barbra Jean confused.

"Barbra Jean, Reba will be coming with us to the appointments. She's my wife and I think it's important to include her in every thing pertaining to this child." Brock said firmly.

Barbra Jean was a bit upset but didn't let it show. Instead of arguing she went along with it and held her comments to herself. The car ride to the doctor's appointment was driven in silence. Finally they made it to the appointment. As Barbra Jean and Brock went into the room, Reba sat in the lobby. Brock gently grabbed her hand and lead her into the doctor's office.

"No Brock, I don't think I should go in with you two. I'll just stay out here and wait." Reba said pulling away.

"Nonsense sweetheart, I want you here every step of the way come on" he said while kissing her.

Hesitantly Reba followed his lead. As the appointment proceeded she stood in the background watching the two cooing and smiling at the picture on the ultra sound. Reba couldn't help feeling jealous and envy in her heart. She wanted more than anything to leave but she didn't want to cause a scene so she stood silent.

"Oh Brock, look at our baby. It's so beautiful." Barbra Jean said.

"I know honey, he's perfect" he said while kissing her hand without thinking about it.

Reba's heart about exploded. She let out a louder than intended sigh that wasn't suppose to be heard by anyone else. Everyone including the doctor looked her way.

"Reba come look at the baby." Brock insisted. Reba slowly walked closer towards them and looked at the baby on the screen. She couldn't help feeling indifferent towards the unborn child. Unable to control herself, Reba walked out of the doctor's office and sat in the car.

He was about to run after her when Barbra Jean grabbed his hand.

"Brock we're almost done. Just stay, please."

Brock went over in his mind what he should do, finally deciding to stay with Barbra Jean. Reba sat in the car, surprised that Brock hadn't come running after her. She wanted to cry but she wouldn't let herself. After a while Brock and Barbra Jean were in the car ready to go. Every so often Brock would look in the rearview mirror and look at Reba. She was silently looking out the window, purposely avoiding his stare. Once they were home, Barbra Jean wanted to stay and talk about the baby some more but Brock insisted she go home and get rest, knowing that Reba had all she could take about the whole baby thing for today.

Once she was gone, Brock slowly made his way to the kitchen where Reba was absent mindedly preparing dinner.

"Reba I know today was uncomfortable for you, I'm sorry. I just don't want you to feel left out." Brock said feeling he needed to defend himself.

Reba said nothing so Brock continued.

"Honey talk to me, lets discuss this."

"Discuss what Brock, how she's throwing this pregnancy in my face, or how she's coming on to you at every turn."

"Oh be fair she is not. Barbra Jean's just happy about having a baby. What do you want me to do Reba, I can't abandon her."

"I'm not asking you to. But stop trying to suck me into this sick world that you two live in. I don't want anything to do with her or this child. Sorry Brock but I can't just get over it like you want me too."

"I'm not asking you to get over it, I'm asking you to try to embrace the reality that is me having a baby with Barbra Jean."

"Brock how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? How would you like it if I went out and cheated on you and got pregnant? Would you be forgiving and willing to embrace it?"

With that said Reba walked out of the kitchen, leaving Brock stunned and pondering his thoughts. What if things were different and Reba had cheated and gotten pregnant? Would he have been understanding and forgiving? The thought of Reba being with another man killed Brock and if the situation were different he knew that he wouldn't be as cooperative like Reba had.


	3. Chapter 3

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 3

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After a couple months went by, Barbra Jean and Brock became immersed in her pregnancy. Reba watched from the sidelines as the two became closer, she felt as if slowly she was falling out of the picture. I guess she couldn't blame them for being excited, a new baby is always a blessing no matter how it was conceived. If someone had asked Reba a year ago that she would be in this position, she would've laughed and said no.

Brock felt overwhelming guilty and sad because he knew Reba was hurting and there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. He was sure he wanted to be with her, but he wasn't too sure about how he would compromise his time between Barbra Jean and Reba. He couldn't abandon Barbra Jean, though he thought about it, but his heart wouldn't let him reject his unborn child. Every day he kicked himself for making the fatal mistake of cheating on Reba. All it took was one time, one moment of passion turned not only his world but the world of his wife and family's upside down. When he looked into the faces of his children, a sharp pain would soar through his body, reminding him of his irresponsibility and the people effected.

Barbra Jean was excited for so many reasons. The birth of her child and the relationship between Brock and herself. Though the relationship was now strictly platonic, she secretly wanted to be with him. The night of passion they shared meant more to her than just a one-night stand. She knew it was wrong because he was married with a family, but she didn't care. She was in love with him and wanted to be with him. Barbra Jean did every thing in her power to keep Brock close. Calling him on the phone and dropping by unannounced.

Something inside of Reba began to stir. Her emotions were becoming harder and harder to control. Every time she saw them together, she felt like apart of herself was being ripped away. Reba started to feel anger, an anger that had never flowed through her veins before. She loved Brock, God knew how she loved that man, but she hated him at the same time.

One night Reba could no longer stay in the house so she grabbed her purse and left.

"Brock, I'm going out, don't wait up." she said before leaving. Brock didn't have a chance to respond before Reba walked out the door. He was surprised to say the least but figured she needed her space and he was happy to give her all the time and space she needed.

Reba drove around for a minute, not knowing where she was going. After driving a few miles out she stopped at what look to be a bar. Not a typical bar, it was more contemporary and modern. Reba walked in and sat at the bar.

"What can I get for you Miss?" the bartender asked.

"Dry martini, please." Reba replied politely.

While she sat and drank her martini, she observed the many people coming in and out of the bar. They were all different; young and old. As she continued to stare, when her eyes spotted a lovely young couple sitting at a table. Reba smiled to herself because strangely enough the couple reminded her of Brock and herself. The young lady covered her eyes and the guy slowly pulled a small box out of his pocket. Once she removed her hands, her facial expression turned into that of someone surprised and happy. Reba smiled at the now newly engaged couple. She remembered when Brock first proposed to her. As she looked down at her own 20-year old wedding ring, a single-tear drop fell down her face.

As she became engulfed in her thoughts a man walked toward her table.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Reba quickly looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"I don't mean to get in your business but you can't be fine if your crying."

"It's nothing okay. Thanks for your concern." Reba grabbed her drink and was about to walk away when he gently grabbed her wrist. Out of instinct, Reba pulled away and eyed him suspiciously.

"Sorry if I scared you but, I've been watching you all night and I have to say that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Do you mind sitting and having a drink with me?"

Reba didn't know what to say. He wasn't a creepy guy, actually he was quite handsome but she thought maybe it was inappropriate for her to engage in his offer. But it was just drinking and talking, how much trouble could she get in for something that was seemingly innocent. She surely wasn't ready to go home yet, so she agreed.

"Umm, I guess that's fine."

They grabbed a table and sat, at first they were silent but he eventually made the first move.

"Well my name's Tim, Tim Roberts."

"Nice to meet you Tim, I'm Reba."

"So, what brings you here all alone?"

"I just needed to get away for a little while."

"Do you mind me asking what for?"

"A lot of things, my marriage, my life."

"Your married?"

"Yeah, but I don't know for how long. My husband and I are going through a rough time right now."

"Whatever it is, it can't be so bad that you'd cry."

"To be perfectly honest I didn't know I would ever be in this position. I've never been more confused than now. The man I've loved for half my life has broken my heart in more ways than one."

Tim felt sympathy for her. You didn't have to know her long to know that she was hurting.

"But enough about me, what about you?"

"Well I'm not married or even seeing anyone. I was a little down myself and then I saw you crying and felt like my problems were minor."

"Why were you down?"

"No particular reason. I'm tired of being lonely. I don't have many friends and no woman seems to be interested in me."

"That's surprising. You're very handsome and seem to be a nice guy."

"Yeah well I guess it's true what they say, nice guys finish last."

Tim and Reba talked for a while longer, allowing time to pass them by. After a few glasses of wine, they both loosened up.

"Hey Reba how about hitting the dance floor with me?"

"Oh no I have two left feet."

"Just follow my lead." Reba looked at him and saw the eagerness in his eyes. She happily accepted his offer. He lead her out on to the dance floor, taking her into his arms.

For a moment, they danced in slow motion, listening to the beat. As time passed Reba became more relaxed and leaned closer to his chest. Tim felt her relaxing and loosening up. As she became more comfortable, Tim turned her around, leaving them no longer face to face. Reba was stunned and confused but surprisingly she didn't object.

"Follow my lead" Tim whispered into her ear.

He gently but firmly held onto her waist and began moving and grinding with the music. As the music flowed, she allowed herself to match his movements until they were in harmony with each other. It felt as if they were the only ones in the room. As the music intensified, so did the heat between the two. Taking it a step further, Tim leaned in closer so she could feel his breath on her neck and ear. Reba closed her eyes and allowed herself to become consumed in the moment. But as his hands moved further down her body, she immediately opened her eyes and pulled away, grabbing her purse and walking out of the bar. Tim chased after her.

"Reba, Reba I'm sorry I was a jerk, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry" Tim pleaded.

"No it's my fault. I let the alcohol and myself get caught up in the moment. Thanks for a nice time but I really should be going."

As she reached for the door, he took her hand, startling her a bit.

"Reba, please don't leave. Come with me tonight."

"Tim I can't. I'm a married woman with three children."

"But you said yourself you aren't happy."

"I know that. But regardless I could never do such a thing to my husband. I can't hurt him like he hurt me."

"It would be just one night. A night that you could forget once its over and never remember me again. Please just give me one night."

"Sorry Tim but I can't."

As she was proceeding to leave, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, and began writing down his phone number.

"At least take my phone number. If you ever change your mind or just want to talk, please call me."

Though hesitant, Reba took his number. She took one last glance at him and then climbed into the car and left. Tim stood as the headlights faded away, wondering if he'd ever see her again.


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews or for just simply reading. But I want to let you all know that this story will be considerably different. So bare with me. I promise a happy ending will come but in the mean time, bring on the drama!

Oh yeah I'm writing this mainly for Reba, Brock, and Barbra jean so the other characters won't be mentioned a lot if at all.

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The house was calm and silent. Midnight had come and Reba had finally made her way home, immediately going into her bedroom. Luckily for her Brock was asleep, that meant she wouldn't have to answer any questions until the morning. She quickly changed into her pajamas, and softly climbed into bed. But no sleep came to her that night. Instead she lay staring into space, thinking of Tim and his offer. She wasn't in love with him, she didn't believe in love at first sight but, there was something else that bothered her. She wasn't sure if she was telling the truth when she said that she didn't want to sleep with him. She definitely thought about saying yes, but out of instinct said no.

There were so many different things going through her mind. Part of her thought it was ludicrous to consider such a thing, but another part of her found it tempting. Out of human need, she needed someone to show her that she was beautiful only the way a man could, but unfortunately Brock wasn't that man. She still loved him but after his affair having any type of intimacy was something that he would have to earn. But even if he did earn her trust back, she wasn't sure if she could comfortably have intimacies with him without thinking of his affair with Barbra Jean. Tim was a symbol of someone that she shared no history or pass with. If intimacy were to form between them, it would be something that they both could walk away from and not a soul would know.

The next morning, Reba quickly made breakfast and sent the kids off to school, for she knew a argument would definitely come when Brock woke up. Just as they left Brock came into the kitchen, a look of anger and worry spread across his face. Reba braced herself for the lecture but instead he said nothing and sat at the table. Breakfast was awkwardly quiet. After she finished eating she quickly went upstairs to their room, and fumbled in her closet so she could get ready for the day. She became startled when she heard his voice.

"Where the hell were you?" Brock asked.

At first Reba was stunned by the harsh tone in his voice, but began stuttering out her answer.

"Umm I drove around for a little while and I went further out than expected."

"Reba, I was worried sick about you. You didn't even call. I was about to call the police."

"I'm sorry. I should've called you."

"Reba, I know your having a hard time with every thing but honey please talk to me, yell at me whatever. Just let me in."

"Brock, I said I'm sorry and I'm fine. There's nothing to discuss."

With that said she walked out the room, leaving Brock worried about his troubled wife. After releasing a huge sigh, he left the room, hoping that someday they could go back to the couple they use to be.

A few weeks had gone by and Reba let her thoughts of Tim escape her mind, but surprisingly she kept his number. But then the turning point came. One day Barbra Jean had come over for one of her daily visits. She and Brock were sitting on the couch discussing different items to buy for the baby. Reba had made a habit out of leaving when Barbra Jean would come over. As the two talked, the conversation took a different turn. The two became comfortable with each other and then for one brief moment their eyes met. As if uncontrolled by unknown forces, they both moved in for a kiss. The kiss was unintentional but the passion felt was on purpose. Brock tried pulling away but found himself becoming immersed in the kiss. As the heat intensified, Reba walked through the door.

Her mouth along with her bags fell to the floor. Brock quickly got off the couch and ran to her. She looked into his eyes and shook her head, wondering why. Why would he jeopardize every thing, again? Without saying a word Reba ran out the door. Brock ran after her, only to have the car door slammed in his face.

Reba drove for hours and hours, crying and crying. Darkness had filled the sky, by the time she stopped her car, she was in a place unknown. For a while she just sat in her car, thinking over in her mind about what to do. She was so mad she wasn't able to think clearly. Her cell phone rang uncontrollably. It was Brock of course.

As she put her cell phone back in her purse, Tim's number fell out. She eyed it for a moment and thought about whether or not to call. Her rage was so fierce that she wasn't able to think calm and rationally. So she picked up her phone and called.

"Hello, Tim speaking."

Reba said nothing, second-guessing what she was going to do.

"Hello. Are you there?" Tim asked.

"Tim, it's me Reba."

He was silent for a moment.

"Reba, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I need to see you."

"Umm okay, where are you?"

"I'm not sure, the street sign says sumner boulevard."

"Alright I know where that's at. I'll be there in a second."

With that he immediately left. Reba sat and waited for him to arrive. After a while a car pulled up. Recognizing his face, she got out of her car and got into his passenger side. Feeling extremely confused he spoke up.

"Reba what's going on?"

"He was kissing her. After all that's happened, he kissed her." Reba said as her voice began to crack.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, yes there is."

"What?"

With her majestic blue eyes she looked him straight in the face and said,

"Take me back to your place."


	5. Chapter 5

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 5

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As Tim drove back to his place, the car ride was silent. Every so often he would glance over at Reba, wondering what was going on through her mind. But instead of questioning her, he left her alone to ponder her thoughts. Reba just stared mindlessly out the window, going over and over what she had saw and what she would do. She wasn't sure why she called Tim or why she asked him to take her back to his place. Flashbacks of happier times in her life and marriage continued to replay themselves in her mind. She loved Brock but she wanted to get back at him. She wanted him to hurt like she hurt so he'd know how it felt to have a loved one disrespect their marriage.

Tim pulled in front of a beautiful condo apartment. As he escorted her out of the car, Reba approached the door with confusion and uncertainty filled in her heart. Knowing partially what she was going to do and why she was doing it. Once inside, Reba sat on the couch, clutching her purse and continuing to sort her feelings. She was brought out of her thoughts when Tim brought her a glass of water.

"Thanks." she said softly.

For a few moments no words were spoken but then he began to speak.

"Reba…" he was cut off.

"Tim what does love mean to you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked confused.

"Just answer me."

"Umm, I guess it means sharing apart of your heart and feelings with someone else, devoting your life and time to the one that makes you happy."

"Then why does my husband insist on hurting me if he loves me? I gave him 20 years of my life. A life filled with happy memories, children, laughter, and tears. After all of that, I'm still not enough for him. I gave him chance after chance and he blew every one of them. And being who I am I allowed him back time after time, knowing he'll just break my heart again."

"Reba maybe things can change. If he says he loves you I'm sure he does. He made a mistake. A mistake that he prays he would've never made. Otherwise why would he have asked you to take him back time and time again?"

"Maybe every one was right. I should've divorced him. But no, I was too hung up on being alone and not having anyone. He doesn't love me. If he did he wouldn't have cheated on me and got another woman pregnant. I'm so mad right now, I could throw up. I don't think I can ever look him in the face again, let alone trust him."

"I wish there was something I can do or say to make you feel better. But this is something that you'll have to work through and decide whether or not you want to start your life fresh as a single woman or try to make things work with your husband."

Tim excused himself and went upstairs to his bedroom for a minute. As he ascended the stairs, Reba felt her anger boil. She wanted to get back at Brock. She wanted to show him that he wasn't the only one who could have secrets. As her confidence grew, she arose from the couch and began to go upstairs. As she took each step, a different emotion exposed itself. From this moment on she wouldn't look back and instead do what she thought she needed to do.

There in his bedroom, Tim had his back turned towards the door as he fumbled with something in his drawers. Reba stood silently in the doorway, observing him and nervous as to how this would turn out. Tim jumped as he turned and saw the red-head standing in his doorway. Reba slowly approached him, never letting her eyes leave his.

"Reba what are you doing?"

"Tim, make love to me."

"What?"

"Make love to me."

"I can't do that. Look your upset and not thinking straight."

"I am thinking straight. I want this to happen."

"Come on let's go back downstairs."

"Why don't you want me? The other night you practically begged me to spend the night with you, now you don't want me."

"Yes, Reba I want you. But you said it yourself, your married. It wouldn't be right."

"But it was right the other night."

"Look, I want you, more than anything in my life. But if we make love I don't want it to be because you want to get revenge on your husband. I want us to make love because you sincerely want me."

Reba tried hard to hold back her tears. She knew he was right, she would only make love to him to distract herself from Brock. But another part of her wanted to.

"Tim, it wouldn't be simply because I want to get back at Brock. I really do want to."

Tim found it increasingly hard to deny her. As she approached him, he knew that he would no longer be able to look into her eyes without giving into temptation.

"It would be just like you said, one night. A night that in the morning we could forget and not a soul would know. Just one night." Reba said.

For a moment the two stood face to face. Slowly they each moved in closer. As his face and lips moved closer and closer, she felt herself begin to shake. Trying to control herself, she closed her eyes and awaited the feel of his lips. As the kiss went on, she allowed herself to become immersed. Every time she felt like stopping, she thought of Brock and Barbra Jean, which intensified the kiss. As time came to pass, clothes were gone and a sheet was the only thing covering their naked bodies. Once the connection was complete, she felt like her entire life flashed before her eyes. She thought of her kids, friends, her parents, Barbra Jean and Brock. Tears cascaded down her face for she knew what she was doing was wrong but it was too late to go back. What's done is done. The pain of her family in her memories, caused Reba to clear her mind of all things except this moment.

Though it was wrong and Reba knew that, she couldn't help feeling a sense of relief. Relief from stress and all the current events, her failing marriage. Being with Tim she was able to enter into a world entirely her own. It had been so long since she'd felt this way. Looking into Tim's eyes as he made love to her she felt free and for a brief moment, they were the only ones in world. Nothing or no one else mattered. She found herself getting more into it as time progressed. Forgetting momentarily who she was. As their climax came to the edge they both held onto each other for life, not wanting to let go of this feeling. Together they reached a peak and somberly fell asleep in each others arms, allowing themselves to enjoy this feeling and wait until the morning to feel guilty.


	6. NOTE TO ALL

AUTHORS NOTE:

HEY GUYS I WON'T BE ABLE TO ADD UNTIL WEDNESDAY BECAUSE I HAVE TWO MORE FINALS I NEED TO FOCUS ON. SO SEE YOU THEN.

THANKS FOR READING x).


	7. Chapter 6

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 6

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Morning had finally come. Rain beat against the windows as the clouds took there place in the sky. Tim awoke to find the red-head sleeping peacefully, facing him. A mixture of emotions and feelings filled his body. In one aspect he was happy, but in another he was saddened. He knew that they had done something wrong. But the temptation was too strong for him to object. He wished they could just escape and be together, never to have any worries or problems.

After a while of just staring at her, he gently stroked the side of her face, slowly waking her up. Eventually she opened her blue eyes, only to see him staring at her. At first she didn't realize exactly where she was but when she felt the cool sheets against her naked skin and recognized Tim's face, she knew that what she thought was a dream was in fact reality. Before saying a word she just stared at him and then turned onto her back, starring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of every thing. Tim could tell by the confused and uneasy look on her face that she was wrapping her mind about that night.

"Umm, I'll give you sometime alone so you can get dressed."

"Thank you." she said softly.

Tim carefully covered himself and left the room so she could have some privacy. Once gone, Reba got out of his bed and began to collect her clothes so she could get dressed. As she put on every piece of clothing, her mind began to wrap itself around every thing. She wasn't sure what to think or feel. In fact to be quite honest, besides being a little confused, she wasn't ashamed or upset about that night. She couldn't explain it but guilt was one emotion she didn't feel.

As she made her way downstairs, she found Tim sitting on the couch, waiting for her. She sat next to him and silence once again controlled the conversation, but gaining enough confidence, she spoke up.

"Tim…" she was cut off.

"You don't have to say anything. I know it was a mistake and it was something that shouldn't have happened. I blame myself for taking advantage of your vulnerability. I apologize. I just want to save you the trouble of an explanation. I'll go get my keys and drop you back off to your car."

With that said he left the room. Reba was stunned and a little hurt. What she was going to say had nothing to do with what he'd just said. She wanted to explain about that night and to let him know how she felt. They both sat in the car, no words, no music. Finally making it to where she parked her car, Reba broke the silence.

"Tim, I'm the one that should be apologizing. I know you think that you took advantage of me but its not your fault. Last night I caught my husband kissing the same woman that he cheated on me with. I wanted to get back at him, so he could hurt like I have. So part of me wanting to sleep with you was to get back at my husband."

Tim looked at her with hurt in his eyes. He couldn't believe he had been used as revenge.

"But, that wasn't the only reason. Tim every since that night we met, I've thought about you. A part of me wanted to be with you last night, not because of Brock, but because of something else. I don't regret what happened between us. I felt free, like all my troubles were behind me and I was in a place where nothing else mattered. When I woke up this morning and saw your face staring back at me, I didn't feel shame or regret, instead I felt happiness, relief, and safe. I haven't felt that way in a long time. So please don't think this was a cheap shot because it wasn't."

Tim stared at her, knowing every thing she said was the truth. There were so many things he wanted to say but the words wouldn't come to his lips. Reba slowly got out of his car and made her way back to hers. Before getting in, a pair of hands gently touched her arms. She turned around.

"Reba, don't let this end here. I know I said for just one night but, I don't think I can keep that promise. I need you and I want you."

"Tim, I care for you I really do. But I'm married. I can't break up my family. I know that seems ironic given what happened between us. But I don't think I could hurt my kids like that."

"If you leave today and we never see each other again, the rest of your life you will spend wondering about us and what could have been. I'm not saying abandon your kids, bring them too. Just be with me. Let me love you, like you should be loved. Give me a chance. It could be our secret, no one has to know."

"I don't know Tim. Just give me a few days to think about all of this."

With that, she got into the car and left. Tim watched as her car faded away, wondering if he'd ever see her again.

Reba had finally made it home. As she walked onto the porch she braced herself for what was to come. With a deep breath, she opened the door. No one was in sight. Brock's car was in the driveway, so she knew he was home. Slowly she climbed the stairs, taking her precious time on each step. As she made it to her room door, she took a couple deep breaths and twisted the knob. Surely enough, Brock was sitting on the edge of the bed. His clothes wrinkled, face unshaved, eyes red, and fists clenched. Reba just stood in the doorway, afraid to say a word, instead remained quiet until he spoke. He looked up at her and slowly got off the bed. As he approached her she took a step back, afraid of what he might do. But his harsh look began to fade. He softly began to speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the baby, I'm sorry for what happened between Barbra Jean and I. I swear I didn't plan on kissing her, it just happened."

"That's what you said the first time you two were together. When does it stop Brock? Why do you think you can treat me anyway and think I'll be okay with it. One of these days I won't accept your apology. Maybe if I stop letting you come back you'll realize that I'm not taking this from you any longer."

"Reba she kissed me what was I suppose to do?"

"Don't kiss back. But you know what I don't care anymore. Do what you want. Its clear you think you can just walk all over me but that stops now. Maybe I made a mistake by taking you back. Maybe I should've divorced you so you can be with her whenever you want."

"Reba wait…"

"Do what you want Brock. Its pretty clear you don't give a damn about me."

Reba walked passed him and into the bathroom. Brock stood in the doorway, knocking himself over and over.


	8. Chapter 7

Maybe I Deserve

Chapter 7

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Days had gone by and Reba's mind was swarmed with thoughts of Tim and Brock. When she thought of Tim she reflected on how good and safe he made her feel. When she thought of Brock, she thought of his affair, his unborn-child and the twenty years put into their marriage. In a lot of ways she felt helpless, her feelings were twisted and torn between two men. If she left Brock and went with Tim, she could start all over and transform into the person that had been repressed. But to leave Brock, she would turn her back on all the love and happiness that they had shared. Her children would be dangerously affected, and even if she did leave Brock, her heart would forever be his. Both of these men held some special part of her, a part that no matter what happened, they would always have.

Reba sat on the porch swing, watching the rain fall, her mind pondering what do to. Thoughts of both Brock and Tim came into conflict. Though she didn't want to admit it, the night she shared with Tim held a lot more meaning than she had hoped. She felt something, but she was confused as to what it was. It couldn't be love, or maybe it could, but how could that be possible? There was no way she could be in love with two men at the same time. But then again, this feeling she felt took grasp of her heart more and more everyday. The more she thought of him and the passion they shared, the more she needed and wanted to see him. She knew it was wrong but she didn't care. She was tired of being the good girl, for once in her life she was ready and willing to live her life with risks and not care about the consequences. This would be her secret. A secret that she could escape to when things got rough at home.

Brock was hurt, for so many reasons. God how he loved her. He hated himself for what he did and had to respect the coldness and rejection that she gave him, for he knew that after all that happened, he probably deserved it. If he could take back every thing he would, but what happened, happened, there was no going back. All he could do was look towards the future and hope that a miracle would come along and save his marriage. He wasn't going to give up. He knew she still loved him and he would do every thing to get them back to a time when all they had were each other and their children, dreaming of a brighter future and happy ending. How he would win her over he didn't know, but damn it he would and if he failed 100 times he'd start over each time.

As she went over in her mind about what she was going to embark on, she seen the faces of her children and Brock. Happiness and sadness waged a battle inside of her because she knew what she was going to do was wrong but she needed an escape, an escape that would take her away for just a short while, and allow her to release her troubled spirit, and in her mind Tim was that escape. Once Brock left for work, she picked up the phone and dialed his number, knowing that once she took this step there was no going back. As it rung she contemplated hanging up, but just as she was to turn back, his voice replaced the ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Tim. Its me, Reba."

"Reba, I've been looking forward to this call."

"I know, umm…can you meet me at Starbucks on River Oaks?"

"Yeah sure, I'll be there."

Slowly she hung up the phone and looked down at her wedding ring, wondering how she and Brock ever got themselves in this situation. She'd made her way to Starbucks and anxiously waited for Tim to arrive. Her body filled with butterflies, half hoping that he wouldn't show up. But as she looked towards the door, there he was, walking towards her. He sat across from her and said nothing, waiting for her to talk.

She didn't really know what to say, she hadn't really thought of that. But as her mind raced, her lips moved and words left.

"Tim, the night we made love I felt something that I never thought I would, love. Trust me I didn't want to or expect to but I did. When I was in your arms and looked into your eyes, I saw a safe place. A place I can go to whenever I need comfort, whenever I need someone to make me feel beautiful. The more I think of what we did, the more I want you, but at the same time in the back of my head I think only of Brock."

"Reba, I care for you. I know what you think this is wrong and it probably is but what does it matter. No one has to know. It could be something that only we share."

"I can't just leave Brock."

"I'm not asking you too. All I want is for you to give me a chance to prove myself, and if that isn't enough to convince you to be with me then so be it. All I want is a chance. I'm ready to love you, just give me a chance. No one has to know."

"Okay," she said softly.

Tim gently kissed her hand and moved closer towards her. A kiss sealed the deal. A kiss that was forbidden, but felt so right and comfortable. Together, hand and hand, they walked to her car.

"I have to get home, I'll call you later tonight."

"Alright."

She got into her car and drove away. Tim was torn. He knew what they were doing was wrong but he was happy to be with her. Sometimes you have to take your happiness where you can find it and if that meant forbidden love then so be it. There isn't a book on how to fall in love or who to fall in love with, it just happens and when it does, the heart knows no boundaries.


End file.
